Lyrics

13.01 : Asylum (2017) 
~Birth of UnMetal~
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13.01.01. [2795861408]
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Must not run away 
Must not fear his name 
He comes to feed on fear 
He comes for those in pain 
Never think of him 
Never speak of him 
Never follow him 
Never let him in 
Never let him win

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13.01.02. Asylum
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Asylum 
Crazy 
Asylum 
Kill me 
All the shit you've given me 
I can't see where it all keeps coming from 
Inside me 
No presence of a pulse 
Can it be that I am dead? 
Asylum 
I'm crazy 
So deafened 
Can't stop me 
Asylum 
Just kill me 
I'm so fucking crazy 
I can't take the suffering 
I can't take this pain 
It's killing me 
It's all fake 
The fear you love inside 
I can't make it go away 
I can't find my inner reason 
Ripped, shredded and torn away from me 
All I see are traces of the season 
In the asylum I was born

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13.01.03. Crazy
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Step back and take a look at the grand scheme of things 
I see you using what I gave you 
Chasing pipe dreams 
Fuck, I knew I should've known not to trust you 
Now I feel I've got a half a mind to bust your heads in the ground for stealing 
my sound that you're calling your own 
Now your heads are blown straight up outta proportion man 
Where'd you get the notion that you're fucking original? 
Bitch I'm the individual that made you what you are 
Think you're such a big star hot shot? 
Well you're not so you better back off 
Before you get sent home in a stretcher 
All bark no bite still stepping to a German shepherd 
It's a dog eat dog shithole of a scene 
And your conduct's been a little obscene 
Take the money, your fame and your bullshit game to the grave 
You're still the one to blame 
Just leave me alone 
Bitch you bit the hand that feeds you? 
Now I'm gonna be the fucking hand that beats you 
Fucked with the hen that laid your golden eggs 
Keeping silent when it boils down to a face to face 
Bring disgrace to the name you stole 
And go pretend you even have a soul 
But I know better than that you see 
Won't get the best of me 
So take a second thought to who you think you really wanna be, punk 
You should've done all you could to keep me on the front page 
But instead you're getting booed off stage 
So sit and stew beset with regret and unrest 
Knowing that I'm still the motherfucking best yet 
You had to test me infest me fucking molest me 
Bitch I know you fucking jest me 
Zeke's got a message for your whole damn scene 
I'll make the motherfucking world know the number thirteen 
This is the final hour 
You stare at me and cower 
Your life is such a downer 
You're just a fucking coward

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13.01.04. Nightmares
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All the pain and the suffering I had to endure 
All the lives that I've taken and I can't find a cure 
Deception 
Reaction 
Instinctual 
Blood on my hands again 
All those sleepless nights brought me closer to death 
As I'm counting the days until my last breath 
Voices command me to kill 
Turn around, that's where your life ends 
These scars have left me aching 
From every life I've taken 
The blood it still remains 
Now every day's the same 
Can't sleep, can't turn the lights out 
Dreaming to tear your heart out 
The monster now begins 
To terrorize within 
This is our pain and suffering 
The nightmares take control 
This is our pain and suffering 
Break me down 
Take my soul 
I feel the sweet embrace of death 
I feel the darkness in my breath 
Why must I be forsaken? 
My sanity is fading 
This emptiness inside 
No fucker you can't hide 
You know you cannot escape 
I'll carve the hate in your face 
The monster now begins 
To terrorize within 
The fear and hate 
It's eating at me 
What have I become?

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13.01.05. Breaking Through
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Your heart is full of grief 
Your soul's in disbelief 
You cannot hide the pain you've buried deep inside 
Your pain's without relief 
Your life's full of deceit 
You are the proof that there's a problem with my life 
And I'm breaking through 
I'm fed up with this shit 
And I'm not putting up with it 
And I'm through with you 
This painful life is a bitch 
And you're the cause of it 
I'm breaking through 
Your walls are crumbling down 
Your world's burnt to the ground 
This is my final act to end your genocide 
Your life is for the taking 
This is the world we're making 
This is shit is fucked up 
Why don't you just let this die? 
I dig your grave 
As I enslave your sole embrace 
This is your fate 
I can take no more

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13.01.06. End of the Line
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I am the darkness in your wake 
I am your fears of every day 
And as you close your eyes I'll say, 
This is the terror of today 
This is my time 
Don't run away 
This is the way it is today 
Don't care about what you need to say 
You're running out of time 
It's like a bullet to your head 
Soon to show you that this is the end 
When all else fails, try again 
It's the end of the line 
I constantly forget my face 
I've gone and left without a trace 
I struggle with this cold embrace 
I put my own soul in its place 
Stained with blood 
I cannot take this anymore 
I'll end this like I did before

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13.01.07. Insaniac
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I create all my enemies 
And the hate is all I have left of me 
Endless struggle 
Disengaged 
They trapped me inside this cage 
Am I sick? 
I exist only in my shame 
And the end result will leave me insane 
Endless struggle 
Disengaged 
Left alone in selfish rage 
Will I survive? 
Am I dead inside? 
Will this endless emptiness control my life? 
When the tables turn do we get what we deserve? 
Is this all that I'll learn? 
Wishing that I'll burn 
Insomniac 
Insaniac 
I'll paid the price for my wretched past? 
I can't escape 
I've met my fate 
Please make this pain just go away 
Justify me 
You deny me 
Realizing you confine me

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13.01.08. Ugly
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Am I everything you wished me to be? 
Am I anything you wanted of me? 
Am I a burden or do you just not want to see me? 
Am I just a whisper or am I ugly? 
Am I ugly on the inside? 
On the outside too? 
Am I just what you don't want to see inside you? 
Am I your dirty little secret? 
Everything you hated in me? 
Do you really think I'm ugly? 
Am I just what you had never wanted? 
Am I just existing to be hated? 
Am I exactly what you've always feared? 
Am I a broken soul or am I ugly? 
Am I ugly? 
Am I so damn ugly?

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13.01.09. The Mirror
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The rotting corpse that is me 
I'm blinded, I cannot see 
The hatred inside of me 
Is killing everything 
Sadistic feelings in me 
The ending is upon me 
Your fears are living in me 
God damn us all 
I look into the mirror 
There's nothing there to see 
Just the shell of a man that used to be me 
You think you rule the world? 
You own the dirt you're standing over 
Why does it all have to fail? 
Failure is our world 
You give me that blank look 
You don't know what you're doing 
Hate me 
Make me 
Break me 
Rape me

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13.01.10. Emily
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In a life where everything fails 
I'm so sick of relying on fairy tales 
Feel like I knew you well 
But it seems what's told is all there is to tell 
So very much alive 
But she's really dead on the inside 
Lost in all her misery 
She can never hope to be 
She smiles in waiting 
Waiting for the end of her suffering 
The love that I will bring 
Left with a cold disease 
I've given everything 
She's sick of the hating 
Waiting for the day once again she'll breathe 
I hold the air I breathe 
I end her suffering 
Why can't she live in me? 
Everyone is dead to me 
This is the world as I see 
So much left for me to think 
It's so hard for me to believe 
All her memories are fake 
Told that she was a mistake 
She can never understand 
Why I would take her hand 
You don't know who I am 
Fall from where I stand 
Emily

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13.01.11. Wither Away
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Falling deep into this hole 
Faster than you'll ever know 
Feel like I'm losing control 
I shut my mouth and I can't say no 
Inside of me 
In spite of you 
I'm shaking in fear at the sound of the truth 
Inside of me 
In spite of you 
I'm wishing that I was away from you 
Wither away 
Watch me fall apart and decay 
Fading and feeling so old 
Older than you'll ever know 
We all have our moments you know? 
Surrounded yet still I'm alone 
Inside of me 
In spite of you 
Tell me how my anguish brings rapture to you 
Inside of me 
In spite of you 
I'm wishing myself far away from you 
I never meant for things to be this way 
Now I am a mess and I've left you astray 
I haven't the slightest clue where it all went wrong 
But all that I know is our time has come and gone 
What the fuck have I done? 
No I can't be this plague again

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13.01.12. Room 1408
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I want to go home...

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13.01.13. A Fallen Angel
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Discarded bastard child 
With a soul made of flaws 
Such total imperfection 
Broken bones beneath the gauze 
Discarded bastard child 
In such forbidden love 
Haunted in realization 
Their lips can never touch 
Sever the nerves 
Forget my pain 
Cut off my senses 
And take it all away 
Tear out my heart 
Feed off the pain 
Set free my soul 
And make this all go away 
Discarded bastard child 
With a heart full of pain 
Such rage at his reflection 
Thrown away and thought insane 
Discarded bastard child 
In such forbidden love 
His love a fallen angel 
They never can become 
Please oh please take this away 
Oh please take this away 
This spoiled child won't get what he wants anymore 
Oh fallen angel 
My love was only for you 
Though my fingers always touch the glass 
When I reach out for you 
Oh fallen angel 
Though our love can't be true 
They say that I should love another 
But I only love you 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.02 : Sick (2018) 
~Path of the Derelict~
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13.02.01. Sick
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Sick 
Fucked in the head 
Making you dead 
And I can't believe anything that you said 
All of these eyes staring back every time 
I look behind my back again 
Lost 
Fucker it's wrong 
You don't belong 
And I've got no sense to say it 
You've got something to prove 
So make a move before I kill you too 
Eyes everywhere 
These eyes everywhere 
And you're sick 
Lies 
Cutting my ties 
Look in these eyes 
Do I look like I'm fucking fine? 
This is fucking my life 
Fucking every time 
And I think I've lost my mind 
I'm getting over in time 
Fuck, it's getting to me 
Just don't let it get by 
Fuck this headache in me 
I feel you screaming my name 
But you're silent to me 
Now I'm so sick in the head 
Fuck, I did it again 
Fuck this place 
The hate is overwhelming to me 
I can't face this life 
It's fucking killing me 
And you're sick 
Fuck you're sick 
Sick fuck

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13.02.02. Tears
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Fallen on my face 
What is this place? 
This race, no pace 
In case you want to drag me down 
Don't smile, frown 
I'll beat you down 
Hate consumes my soul 
I can't control 
It's getting old 
I wish I never had this shit 
Fuck all of it 
Not taking it 
Everything you said 
Fucks up my head 
Instead I dread 
That you may someday murder me 
So let it be 
Don't look at me 
Every fucking time 
I make this mine 
This time I'm fine 
I don't need you to let me know 
Just what I show 
The undertow 
From life to rust 
A bitter trust 
The endless lust 
It turns to dust 
Break me 
These tears falling 
My voice calling 
I can't describe this horrid vision 
My perception of depression 
This mind is a fucking prison

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13.02.03. Hyde Inside
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This hatred that consumes you 
This sorrow abuses you 
These tears that you cry at night 
These fears you run from in fright 
This war, it overtakes you 
Emptiness that penetrates you 
Coldness is buried inside 
Comes out and you cannot hide inside 
Your soul I left defeated 
You lie unconscious, bleeding 
Something that must be done 
To emerge a battle won 
This fight cannot be finished 
Your pride has been diminished 
Disgust and inner hate 
This is the end of faith 
Pain, hate, rage and hunger 
Killing one another 
Pain, hate, rage and hunger 
Kills our sacred mother

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13.02.04. Disposable
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Can't you see that this is killing me? 
What have you done to me? 
All of this, superficial 
Everything you say is wrong with me 
Can fucking never be 
God, I feel so disposable 
Feeling light headed 
My scars embedded 
Into my skin from deep within 
Looks like it's all over 
I'm not rolling over 
Just to die in your eyes 
I can't deny what's left in my 
Redemption in confession 
My impulsivity 
The beast inside of me 
Is so held dear with fear 
Fucked up 
Can't take it 
Can't believe you'd fake it 
All of your shit's so explicit 
You know it's all over 
I'm not rolling over 
I won't die in your eyes

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13.02.05. Insomniac
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Staring right up at the clock 
Haunting me with its tick tock 
Wondering why can't I sleep? 
This isn't how it needs to be 
Countless hours pass me by 
It's endless 
Time has run me dry 
This feeling kills me everyday 
Just hope to god this goes away 
Still this hasn't gone away 
Counting every fucking day 
Keep hearing all the screams 
Silently invade my dreams 
This hell, it keeps consuming me 
Till I can't feel a fucking thing 
Pray to god my soul to reap 
Just give this night so I can sleep 
Lay me to sleep 
Counting sheep can't save you now 
Lay me to sleep 
All I wanna know is how 
Lay me to sleep 
How the fuck this happened to me 
Just put me to sleep 
And let the silence set me free 
Nails in my hands 
Pound them in my eyes 
Nails in my hands 
So I can sleep tonight

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13.02.06. Broken Inside
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Broken Inside 
I've got nothing left to say 
What have you become 
Not that I care anyway, 
I have to deal with your hypocrisy every fucking day, 
I'm so sick- sick- sick of you 
And I'm so sick of your ways 
I take the time to look inside 
And realize this hate will never die 
As long as you're this disgusting waste of life 
Another day begins another fight 
You love to leave me here for dead 
You wanna fill my head with lead 
You love to see the people dead 
You wanna coat your hands in red 
I feel nothing but the shit you fed to me 
My god it's so disgusting how you seem to disagree 
With everything surrounding you that's allowing you to see 
I'm fucking everything you wanted that you could never ever be 
You're broken inside 
Pain 
Stop, the pain is killing me 
Chained to the cage that holds me restrained 
Left with only freedom to gain 
At the end of all of this pain 
Torturing, it's killing me 
Rained blood 
It's pouring out of my veins 
Fight through all the hurt and the strain 
Stop what's fucking killing me

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13.02.07. This Life
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Standing as you're staring at me with such a frozen gaze 
I can't tell if you despise me or if you're simply amazed 
There's something dead inside my mind like nothing here is real 
But you don't realize 
What you don't know is I can't feel 
Hopelessly I'm lost inside my head and I can't understand 
Every time I feel the corner turn it takes me back again 
Trapped inside, my heart is racing 
I can't seem to deal 
But you will never know 
What you can't see is I can't feel 
All along, you've been right there for me 
Or so you think 
I heard your voice calling out to me 
Just save me 
If I close my eyes, it goes away 
I cannot blink 
Slowly I will simply fall away 
Save me 
I am the one you keep inside 
I am the one keep alive 
You can run but you can't hide 
Scream my name 
But you'll never end this life 
I am the reason you can't tell 
Whether this is life or hell 
You're living in your cold, hard shell 
Scream my name 
But you'll never end this life

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13.02.08. Settle In Darkness
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You fucked me in so many ways 
What gave you pleasure gave me pain 
What made this last, we'll never know 
But still I feel this anger grow 
If only I controlled my hate 
Maybe we could've been the same 
You smiled when you watched me die 
You're fucked past guilt and built on lies 
You told me that you meant no harm 
And still I gave in to your charm 
Now look and see how far that got me 
There's nothing you can do to stop me 
You took my soul 
You sold me out 
I saved your life 
You watched me drown 
I gave you everything I was 
Now look at what you've fucking done 
I settle in darkness without you 
This is my attempt to break away 
I'm better off living without you 
I only want you just to stay away 
I sit here in the dark alone 
And hope one day to find my home 
And I believe the end is near 
Because with ending comes this fear 
How can you say that I'm so blessed? 
I'm living in a fucking mess 
I'd rather die than be this man 
You don't know who the fuck I am 
How could you let things get so bad? 
I gave you everything I had 
You never cared 
You never saw that everything I did was all for you 
Who do you think you are? 
Leave me here 
Pay no mind 
I'll pretend that I'm doing fine 
Live my life the best that I can try 
But in my back is your knife 
Bleeding out 
Full of doubt 
Rolling on the floor till I scream and shout 
Begging you please 
Take it out, take it out, take it out 
But the taste of the blood is your pleasure 
Pressure to stall 
Back to the wall 
Down on my knees as I cry out and crawl 
Hating it all 
Taking the fall 
Throw me the blame as I cringe at your call 
Wanting me to die inside 
And I don't think I'm gonna make it out alive 
Tears that I cry at night won't wash away the sight of your evil eyes 
Why can't you just go away?

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13.02.09. Blood
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I'm standing in the mirror 
With the blade in my hand 
As the blood seeps through 
These walls of my skin 
My veins are tightening 
My heart is pounding hard 
There's no hope left for me 
But still I won't fall 
No more blood 
Standing here alone 
I never want to see you 
Covered in my blood 
That stains your gaze 
These voices scream at me 
Ignored all their cries 
I've come undone you see 
So fragile, my face 
You burn me 
You hurt me 
You feed me 
You kill me 
You love to see me suffer on and on 
Soon I'll be gone forever 
Is that so wrong?

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13.02.10. Still Alive
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Your patience is growing thin 
But you can't run from what's within 
Another day, another dollar down the drain 
It's digging deep into your skin 
To grab a hold of what's within 
Another day, another dollar up in flames 
Falling 
Calling 
Feel so small 
And never again will I be the same 
Lying 
Crying 
Feel like I'm dying 
Never again will I take the blame 
I'm still alive and I will not die just yet 
Give me another chance 
I'm still alive I won't let you die just yet 
Give me another chance to fail 
Your hatred, it emanates 
It's making me suffocate 
Another day, another life is wasted 
It's so to say I can't relate 
Can't even communicate 
Another day drowned in the hatred 
Everything is dead inside 
To scar the face you'll never hide 
Last time I knew myself, I died 
Yet I still feel like I'm alive 
You never knew what you had done 
The war raged on till there was one 
A second chance to be the one 
And now the end has just begun

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13.02.11. Restrained
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You're fucked 
Every day you get in my way 
After the battle seems to liberate 
Descending eyes don't seem to really contemplate 
The underworld 
The overworld 
The Otherworld is dying 
Someone help me 
Just because you never lived 
Doesn't mean you'll never die 
You make one mistake and you are a fake 
Through the eyes of the storm 
The blades craving more blood 
From deep within your veins 
So to say you're all the same 
Blood from deep within your skin 
You never seemed to care 
You never seem to feel 
Just because you never lived 
Doesn't mean you'll never die 
I feel no pain 
Fucked and insane 
Break me in vain 
I am restrained 
I can't complain 
That I'm insane 
Can't take the pain 
Leave me restrained 
You pushed too far 
It's what we are 
You're all the same 
You'll never change

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13.02.12. Empire of a Broken Man
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When light fades into the distance 
Their fallen sun may rise again 
As moonlight rains through the darkness 
It pierces the sorrow and falls again 
Hold on to the gift I gave you 
Life is what will only save you 
Faithless, god may soon forsake you 
Willingly gave his life for you 
Empire of a broken man 
A failure, dying where he stands 
Take her life into your hands 
Emperor of this broken land 
The rain falls, crying swollen tears 
And all its fabled sins come out again 
Hides in the veil of inner sadness 
Beauty can't be found and dies again 
I take her life into my hands 
And watch her slowly drift away 
I'm a broken man 
A failure, dying where I stand 
I'll take her life into my hands 
Emperor of this broken land

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13.02.13. Mortuary 
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I feel this searing pain burning through my skin 
This pain's intoxicating 
Euphoric; this pain alters me 
I scream the pain away but no one hears me 
They tell me just to rest, 
Soon you won't feel a thing 
I have vague memories of someone looking down on me 
And visions of my blood dripping down into a drain 
Can't take away the pain 
See all the blood and strain 
I'm living for the pain 
As it's coursing through my veins 
Never close your eyes 
I look into my eyes and I can see my own reflection 
As I bury deep inside the very sight of my discretion in my heart 
To realize that everything is made of hatred 
Like the lies I built inside all made of ash and desecration 
I died 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.03 : Impure (2019) 
~Søul of Redemption~
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13.03.01. DieDieDie
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Die die die 
All you do is lie lie lie 
You lied to me 
You make me be who I hate inside, motherfucker 
I know I can't take another lie 
You're in my mind 
I'm going blind 
I've hated all you left behind 
I wish you'd die in front of me 
In blood you'll lie, hating me 
This is the time; avenge me 
Now you must die before me 
I wished you dead now that you're in my head 
But this lie will never die 
Don't you see that? 

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13.03.02. Impure
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I sew her seams so tightly 
She's irreplaceable, it seems 
Her screams bring pleasure to my ears 
Though I'm not so sure just what it means 
Knit one purl two down the middle 
Sealing shut the tears straight down her chest 
This needle and thread bear salvation 
I'll put these voices to rest again 
Only when I seal her mouth will silence be 
Hope now I can breathe in all her agony 
Only when I shut her eyes maybe then she'll see 
My soul dies, she rests in pieces with me 
Stay 
You stay forever in me 
Constantly I feel it 
I feel you suffocating me 
You bring the hate out of me 
Every time you build me up, 
I gotta tear you down 
I can't contain these urges 
Just have to hear her screams again 
They stop the voices from coming back 
To talk me out of this again 
The look on her face without the eyes 
The way her body feels without the skin 
This is ecstasy, it's got to be 
I'll lose myself in you again 
You're impure 
Broken 
Bleeding 
Lifeless 
Not breathing 
You're what I want to see

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13.03.03. Never
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The sun sets and the spirits rise 
I see the hatred in your eyes 
They never cared, it's all a lie 
Can't realize the pain won't die 
It never shows, fear in their eyes 
But we know they're all dead inside 
Their inner selves' so hard to find 
Society is running blind 
Never will I be reborn 
Never will I see the sun 
Never will the fear be gone 
Never will hope ever come 
This world is dark or so it seems 
With skin so deep, scarred at the seams 
These things you think that you can feel 
But you don't know that it's not real 
And everything that was our own 
Has been dead as long as you've known 
The severance of all our nerves 
The cleansing of this social dirt 
I can't be afraid ever again 
I can't be remade ever again 
Never, oh never will I ever be afraid 
Never again 
Never, oh never will I ever be remade 
Never again

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13.03.04. From the Heart
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The hatred deep in me 
It's all I'll ever be 
The way you think of me 
A bastardized disease 
Why the hell do you hate me? 
And what the fuck do you want from me? 
Can't you see I just can't be 
All the shit you want from me? 
But you don't understand 
That this is who I am 
And you don't realize 
I'm caught up with these lies 
I'm going from the heart 
I won't let this shit start 
It takes a hold of me 
Somebody set me free 
I'm going from the heart 
I won't be torn apart 
Sometimes you've got to be the one to set you free 
The things you say to me 
And the ways that you hurt me 
I was never truly free 
From the pain you've given me 
Would you quit hiding from me? 
Turn the fuck around and finally face me 
You say you don't take shit from me 
Well I won't leave till you make me 
I am, I was 
I will be once again

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13.03.05. Hollow
------------- 
Everyone around me seems so tall 
So much taller than me 
Yet I'm the only one who seems to fall 
Fall so miserably 
This place is full of shit 
Caught up in this ignorance 
Can't get over it 
I'm fucking done with all of this 
We can't escape 
We're blind from the truth 
I know this world has gone to waste 
We only live the lies we've borrowed 
Now failure is all that I can taste 
I've never felt so fucking hollow 
Everything is pointless to me now 
Now that I can see 
The web of lies they just can't live without 
God it's killing me 
Suffocate and twist 
Choking from the lies they spit 
Can't survive this shit 
When ignorance is fucking bliss 
What I wouldn't give to feel alive 
I cannot take this anymore 
I hate this fucking place 
I wish it'd all just be erased 
But I can't escape this broken life 
Just leave my pieces on the floor 
Everything is lost and dead inside 
Give me strength to close the door

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13.03.06. Lost
------------- 
His child the moon and dark became 
Once was a man they called insane 
With fear and anger in his heart 
Depression, all that slowly starts 
The hate becomes a piece of him 
Society has taught to him 
Forever in his soul he'll keep 
The sentiment to never weep 
I can't fly on broken wings 
I can't live on broken dreams 
The things he always dreams to be 
He tries to be like you and me 
But now he feels his tears just fall 
And lives in the shit of it all 
The thing from which the anguish starts 
That has been living in the dark 
Heart broken, bursting at the seams 
Replaced by all his silent screams 
Now he laughs at the fools who once had so much joy 
They are now like he once was 
Another worthless broken toy

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13.03.07. Shut Up [H8]
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You said that we are birds of a feather 
You said that we're so alike together 
You think you're fooling me with all your lies 
I'm not fooled one bit 
You're not my friend 
I know that you think you're so fucking clever 
Wake up bitch, that's likely never 
Take one look into my eyes and tell me that you'll never die 
I'm sick of this bullshit you feed me 
This frustration that you give me 
That's it punk, you've crossed the line 
It's time I take back what is mine 
I am the hate, the rage 
The blood on the page 
Release me from the cage 
I'll fuck you up 
Don't fuck with me 
You'll see I'm hard as they can be 
I'll beat you till you bleed 
I'll fuck you up 
You said that this is not the end 
You say that I'm the one who pretends 
You think it's over? 
No it's only beginning 
I'm done with this shit 
Here we go, let's end this 
You all think you fucking know me 
But I'm not the man that you see right before your very eyes 
You're in for a fucking surprise 
I cant wait to take you down 
Just face it bitch, you're going down 
Yes this is where I set things right 
It's time I take back what is mine 
And I'll take you down

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13.03.08. The Amityville Whore
------------- 
Stand in my whirlpool of untold confessions 
Soon I'll die, a martyr of my own emotions 
I deify the sinful heart that I am blessed with 
Why can't I just find the meaning of these lessons? 
I despise my own emotions 
My very eyes are unforgiven 
I deny the horrid memory engraved in my cold mind 
The picture painted 
I can't take it 
Losing my will to live without regrets 
So why can't I just find my own way to forget it? 
Still I try one last decision 
To find my light for my redemption 
So walk a mile in my shoes 
If you were me, what would you choose? 
A soul like mine 
Beaten and abused 
Nothing to gain but all to lose 
Some nights I hear you calling out to me 
Your voice rings in my ears 
The guilt consumes me at every moment that I'm reminded of that memory 
And I've tried to keep you alive in my heart for so many long years 
But it's time I let go of my mistakes from the past 
And set myself free

------------- 
13.03.09. 13th Derelict
------------- 
So begins the story of a boy who couldn't find his way 
He hadn't made the best decisions that he could have made 
He kept on digging deeper and deeper into this hole that he buried himself in as 
he grew old 
There was a time when he remembered those words he said to his love 
He said he'd be there for her till the end 
Eventually he could see it was all for naught 
For all the cheating and the lies and sentimental thoughts 
That he felt for this person that he thought was god 
He never knew that he would later see she was a fraud 
And as he looked in the mirror, all that he could see were the reflections of his 
own pain and misery 
She's staring down a loaded gun 
He says her life is done 
Oh murder, oh murder 
Slake my thirst for blood 
Some say he was a blind man for believing the lies of this bitch who walked 
right through him wearing her disguise 
She could destroy him in an instant and she didn't care 
And she betrayed him as he watched while he was standing there 
But things were strange 
He became deranged from watching himself change 
Into this man he hated 
Debated whether he should live or die 
But with the drugs and the sex it's hard to stay alive 
He lived his life for everybody else 
And to this day, he can't even look at himself 
For every night that resulted in more tears cried, 
He held onto that broken heart until the day he died 
A rip in my heart 
A hole in my head 
A knife in my back 
I'm better off dead 
I won't lie to you anymore

------------- 
13.03.10. Who Will Be the One?
------------- 
Step on up 
It's time to play the game 
Insert the coin and let it go 
Try your best, although you're bound to fail 
Come on kid, it's time to roll 
Don't fall back, it's not your time to die 
Don't you be a quitter now 
Change that attitude 
I'll set you straight 
I'll become the winner now 
Step up 
Who will be the one? 
Drop down 
All is old and done 
Run along, you'll never take my place 
I am all things greater now 
Go ahead and laugh it up, you punk 
I won't be defeated now 
Broken faith 
Your spirit lives in chains 
There's no revolution now 
Come on down and show me what you've got 
You won't take my life now 
Caught up in fueling the fire 
I'm left in your demise 
These sins in me you've inspired 
Make you what I despise

------------- 
13.03.11. October
------------- 
All around me you surprise me 
Everything is so clear and divine 
Feel it crawling deep inside me 
Am I still staring down that line? 
Always say you'll be here with me 
Drowning in pools of cyanide 
This bleeding heart will never faze me 
Numbness lies forever inside 
October 
The years, they disappear 
Remember 
The end of days is indecisive 
I am blinded 
Nothing's harder than being alive 
All the hatred 
Nothing's sacred 
Felt so empty all of my life 
Make me worry 
So unhappy 
Never wished that this pain would arise 
Was I really even worth it? 
Pushing all these memories aside 
The end of days is near 
And I can't wait to hear them scream

------------- 
13.03.12. Now That I'm Dead
------------- 
Now that I'm dead, 
I will find the answers to these questions 
I will stand my ground to this infection 
I will be the one and only savior 
This will be the night that we'll remember 
You are the voice without a soul 
The orphan child they'll never know 
The light is not in your control 
The sky falls down 
The stars align to your descent 
Now is the time you must repent 
You never knew just what it meant 
But they will know it now that I'm dead 
I will be the meaning to your nothings 
I can always say I stood for something 
I will be reborn into the nightlife 
You will not forget the twist of my knife 
You were the one born with a gift 
The only piece that never fit 
You never really gave a shit 
The sky falls down 
You are the reason I still fight 
Here in the darkness of the night 
This the time my soul takes flight 
Your end is coming now that I'm dead 
Nothing in the world can ever take me 
I will face your god should he forsake me 
There will be no way you can escape me 
I will show you just what lives inside me 
This life is subject to change 
Now that I'm dead, 
I will now remain to live forever 
Mine will be the face you will remember 
I will put an end to your facade 
I will be the true immortal god

------------- 
13.03.13. Lullaby [The Cure]
------------- 
On candy stripe legs the spider man comes 
Softly through the shadow of the evening sun 
Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead 
Looking for the victim shivering in bed 
Searching out fear in the gathering gloom and suddenly 
A movement in the corner of the room 
And there is nothing I can do 
When I realize with fright 
That the spider man is having me for dinner tonight 
Quietly he laughs, shaking his head 
Creeps closer now 
Closer to the foot of the bed 
And softer than shadow and quicker than flies 
His arms all around me and his tongue in my eyes 
Be still, be calm, be quiet now my precious boy 
Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more 
But it's much too late to get away 
Turn on the light 
The spider man is having you for dinner tonight 
And I feel like I'm being eaten by a thousand million shivering furry holes 
And I know that in the morning, I will wake up 
In the shivering cold 
The spider man is always hungry 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.04 : The Blood On the Wall (2020) 
~Descent Into Madness~
------------- 
13.04.01. Fun Times with a Chainsaw
------------- 
We wrote this song for you 
We hope you like it too 
The heavy shit that you desire 
Engulfing you with such a fire 
Fun times with a chainsaw

------------- 
13.04.02. The Blood On the Wall
------------- 
Get the fuck up 
All alone 
Waiting in the darkness 
Faltering, suffering 
It's taking over me 
Nothing's gonna change 
Calling out to someone 
Save me from the curse that is imprisoning me 
Tell me what the fuck is going on 
Tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong 
Tell me why the fuck I have to live with what you've done 
Can't you see the blood on the wall? 
All along I've known this blood is yours 
Scared to see the blood on the wall 
Stained these walls with all this hate of yours 
Death ensues 
Mentally explosive 
It eats away at me from the inside out 
Now it's coming back 
It crawls into my body 
It speaks its own words through my voice and I can't get it out 
I can't live with what you've done

------------- 
13.04.03. Sin / Feast of Souls
------------- 
This is the war, it's the fight 
It's the destruction of life as we know it 
This is the wrong and the right of everything that we make of it 
This is the fall of the guillotine blade on the heads of your idols 
This is the rise of my revolution 
Now your ending is final 
Feast of souls begin 
They lie deep within my skin 
Calling from within 
You can't run away from sin 
This is the loss 
It's the gain of all the reasons you despise me 
This is the meaning of all these things you'd give up to destroy me 
This is my gift, it's the light 
It's the dark of what you'll do to control me 
This is the ebb and the flow 
This anger still builds up inside me 
I can't contain my sorrow 
I'll never see tomorrow

------------- 
13.04.04. [un]Alive
------------- 
I choose to stay inside you 
I never thought this isolation could feel so cold 
I would never lie to you 
I'm just so sick of the cycle 
God, it's getting old 
I choose abuse not to lose you 
Cut me a heart all across my nerves 
Beat me down and make me bleed 
Fuck me till I lose my need 
Whatever I get's more than I deserve 
Everything used to be so harmless 
Now everybody tries to be so heartless 
What in the world did I do to deserve to only feel alive when I'm fucked and 
hurt? 
I'm not alive 
I'll never be alright, no 
I'm writhing from the inside, no lie 
This is no kind of life 
Cross my heart and hope I'll die 
I choose to feed your smile 
I guess that I'm just better off here as your toy 
So go ahead and play as I clean this mess you made 
Play in the soil of my stolen joy 
What in the world did I do to deserve to only feel the pain of the scars that 
burn? 
Cross my heart and hope I'll remain 
Fuck all this hatred and the bullshit that it comes with 
Fuck this anger that controls me from within 
If I could have this any other way I'd fucking change it without a second to 
waste 
I said fuck this place 
I won't be alright 
Cuz I'm not alive 
And no, it's not alright 
It never was alright 
I'm dying on the inside 
I'm just living a lie

------------- 
13.04.05. Enhancing the Wounds
------------- 
You stood before me, waiting in weakness 
I see the blood dripping from your hands 
You stood before me, eyes filled with sorrow 
You said you made me deviate and I can't understand 
Enhancing the wounds, I hear you crying harder 
Lay deep in my arms and feel us drift apart again 
You stood before me 
Handful of self hatred 
I see your broken heart, corrupted and alone 
You stood before me 
Cried away our futures 
You said you made me deviate 
Your voice remains unknown 
I let go of our promises and memories 
I'm forgetting all the things you've done to me 
Run away and never looking back again, 
I take your hand

------------- 
13.04.06. Nürøtika
------------- 
And we shall rise with blood on our hands and bodies at our feet 
Let the exalted one yield control, taking shape and form within our brightest of 
dreams and our darkest of nightmares 
For the mantra is truth, that he shall come to you if you believe 
Red line; always the fine line 
Sometime maybe I'll reach it 
Shoved me into the ground 
You never heard the sound 
You made a fool of me and to this day, 
In misery I scream 
Took innocence away 
Made me the one to blame 
You're staring in my eyes, peering through cracks in my disguise 
I decide that I will not remain 
I decide that I will never be the same 
With this incision, I take my blood oath 
With this sacrifice, I pass the point of no return 
Retreating into the arms of the darkness 
All my torment is out of sight and left to burn 
The blood on my skin gives me the warmth I've always longed for that I now 
feel within 
For I am dubbed Nürøtika 
I have become Nürøtika 
My name is Nürøtika

------------- 
13.04.07. Fe4R
------------- 
Another broken heart 
Another fallen start 
My heightened sense of fear 
My every thought is clear 
You came to take away 
My very life away 
And now look what you made 
Look at yourself, you've changed 
No, I don't need your sympathy 
Victims in the glass 
Look how much time has passed 
I'm counting down the days 
Till everything's away 
So come and disappear 
Come get me out of here 
There's so much hatred near 
It's all inside the fear 
I am afraid to fall asleep at night 
For fear of not waking up again 
I hope to god 
Don't have to carry on 
Another broken heart 
Another lack of smarts 
My heightened sense of fear 
Now take me out of here 
You came to take away 
My life is here to stay 
And now look what you made 
You don't realize you've changed 
All alone, I hear no conscience 
Fading out into this silence 
It's too late for random kindness 
Wishing that I never tried this

------------- 
13.04.08. Parasyte
------------- 
I'm here inside your head 
Make you believe you're dead 
I've taken away your sense of empathy 
"It's fine" 
Yes that's the lie 
You say it all the time 
Denial takes over dressed as apathy 
Fall face first in broken glass 
Pretend this pain will never last 
The torment covers me like rain 
This parasyte, it still remains in me 
You rot from the inside out 
Replacing joy with doubt 
I've taken the place of every memory 
"It's fine" 
And still you lie 
You're running out of time 
You've lost all but every source of sympathy 
Just smile and wave, it's all okay 
But don't forget I'm here to stay 
This hate is living inside of me

------------- 
13.04.09. Suffering
------------- 
Tracing the scars to flaws in my heart 
I sit in waiting for the fun to start 
I got a knife in my hand and wicked thoughts in my head and I can't wait to see 
you scream in the end 
I've been planning this day since the time of my birth and I'm anticipating just 
how I will bring you the hurt 
I love the thought of chaos 
Oh the chaos I'll bring 
And now it's time I made you understand suffering 
Stay with me, I can't breathe 
Beat you down and leave you suffering 
It's killing me, so make me bleed 
Hate your life until you're suffering 
Watching your every move till you fail 
I'm just biding my time until I go for the kill 
You're the easiest prey I've taken so far 
You're just another number in a crowd of scars 
Here it comes 
Now's the time you are finally mine 
I'm gonna split you apart and rip you up inside 
This is it 
You'll regret ever crossing me 
And now I'm ready to bring forth the suffering 
This ends right here 
Right now 
Fuck you

------------- 
13.04.10. We Burn
------------- 
Welcome to the inner circles where we rest with the snakes 
All your life you believed all the stories were fake 
Not so funny for you, but we're having a ball 
Rip intestines out your ass and fucking holes in your skull 
Smoke rises from the ground as we return from the dead 
Breaking into your house to drag you screaming from bed 
More corpses, torture and blood for the sea 
With a deafening scream, we'll separate bones and meat 
We're the wicked evil butchers 
All demented as fuck and it's three-six-five that we're tearing you up 
Jagged cuts to the throat 
Tearing flesh off your face as you pray to be free from this nightmarish place 
But god's abandoned you and that's the price that you pay 
For the wrongs that you committed every year and every day 
It doesn't matter what your poison is 
Murder or a liar 
Your only fucking purpose now is fuel for the fire 
We Burn 
Every day we don't play 
We won't hesitate 
These cycles of death are now the ending of your fate 
We get bloody and evil 
We torture people 
Leave you laying in the fields 
Just a corpse for the weevils 
I'm not even here anymore 
Last night, Zeke called my spirit through the Ouija board 
And now I'm respawned 
Coming like a bee swarm 
I got a mouth and I'mma scream till everything's torn 
Locked in a cupboard 
Writing backward on a blank wall 
I see the devil in a field south of Wichita 
I can't move, don't even twitch at all 
He's fucking beckoning 
I'm answering his wicked call 
Five pistols, three uzis and a chainsaw 
Knives, missiles, PCP doobies and a buzz ball leaking out my lame jaw 
Stomp you like a tame dog 
Wearing Ron Mexico 
Scaling your retaining wall 
An authentic schizophrenic in your backyard 
Popping anesthetics frenetically till I'm that hard 
Finger to the spindle 
Your fireplace kindle's dwindled 
You heard someone coming in through the window 
Prepare to die 
Right, left, side to side 
Tonight's the night you'll fucking say goodbye 
Pull it up, pull it down 
Pull it back and forth 
Write it down in your autopsy report 
Pull the insides straight up out the wound 
So sick, it would make Jeffrey Dahmer swoon 
You can't understand this kind of pain 
You're out of luck 
It continues every day

------------- 
13.04.11. Going Nowhere
------------- 
I'm falling apart 
I'm fading away 
Waiting for something I'll never embrace 
I gave up on life 
I'm wishing for death 
Silence enslaves me till my final breath 
I've fallen apart 
I'm wasting away 
Breaking the silence to live better days 
Everything's wrong 
Nothing's alright 
Just take everything that I've gained in life 
Holding on to what I crave 
All alone 
I'm so depraved 
I'm going nowhere now 
I've been deceived 
I'll never leave 
There's nothing left 
I've made a mess 
It's falling apart 
Cuz everything breaks 
Turning to ashes with each step I take 
Hating my soul 
Filled with false pride 
Why must I choose? 
I hate taking sides 
I'm giving up 
I've given up 
It's fallen apart 
Got nothing to say 
Left with the pieces of lies that I've made 
Breaking my heart 
Killing me sane 
I'd say that I care, but it's all just the same

------------- 
13.04.12. Photographs / Fade Away
------------- 
Somebody called to tell me that you had passed away 
And as I heard these words, there was nothing I could say 
I felt the tears drip off my face and fall down to the floor 
I wish now that I'd said goodbye before you walked through that door 
I walk up to the sullen grave that's forever stained your name 
I remembered our lives and realized that I'll never be the same 
I guess I should have told you just how much you meant to me 
This world is cold and cruel and finally you have been freed 
You died and you're taking me with you 
It's called love and there's nothing we can do 
You're gone and you've taken me with you 
But now you're everywhere to me 
I lay alone at night without you there to comfort me 
And I lose sleep for all the times that I see you in my dreams 
I never thought I'd end up such a hopeless wreck of a man 
You were my everything and that night I lost all I had 
And now you're gone because of me 
I see now that I can't be strong like you wanted me to be 
But I can tell you now that you were everything to me 
It's out of my control and there is nothing I can do 
So goodbye my love 
Don't forget that I will always love you

------------- 
13.04.13. ~Guardian Angel~
------------- 
I am the one hiding under your bed 
Filling your head with dreams of the dead 
I am the one that made you scream that night 
You called for your mother to turn on the lights 
She checked in the closet, said no one was there 
Again try to sleep in the cold, wicked air 
So softly you sank into a deep sleep 
As I laid my gnarled hands on your cheek 
Hearing slow breathing in your silent dreams 
This presence is me, though I'm not there it seems 
Lay in bed shivering in the dark and cold 
Your day will come, and your neck I'll hold 
And I am always with you 
I am the one hiding behind the closet door 
You look inside and see just an empty floor 
Trying once more, back in your bed to sleep 
So serene as you're drifting back into sweet dreams 
I creep slowly back into the bed with you 
I stroke the hairs of your head 
Pray that you do not die before you shall wake 
The boogeyman creeps closer 
Your soul to take 
And I am always with you 
I am your guardian angel 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.05 : Creep$how (2021) 
~Rise of the Dreamkillers~
------------- 
13.05.01. Creep$how
------------- 
We built this circus called home on a dead man's breath 
So when its feeding time, you better get in line 
And if your god demands of you that you jump to your death, 
You better ask "How high? Dear lord, how high?" 
Go bury your heads in the sand 
Their lies are in high demand 
Keep buying brand after brand 
Yeah go ahead 
Tell me that I dont understand and slit your motherfucking wrists till you lose 
your hands 
Everybody's got blood on their hands 
So what the fuck makes you think that you're so clean? 
Everybody just wants what they can't have 
So keep your eyes glued tight to your TV screen 
This is the real American Creep$how 
The main event you're all dying to see 
We make the innocent bleed 
It's what you all fucking need 
Thrill in horror as you clutch at the edge of your seats 
Laugh out loud as we feed our insatiable greed 
You wanna make the nation desolate? 
You gotta keep the public desperate 
Feed them shit until they're sick and paint that red, white and blue on my 
fucking casket

------------- 
13.05.02. Freak
------------- 
On display here for all to see 
My discomfort paralyzing 
Mesmerized with a gasp they scream 
Pointing fingers, they laugh at me 
Here I am, all dressed up for you 
So unloved here to be your fool 
I can't take all of this abuse 
No I don't think I'll make it through 
Get off my back and stop fucking with me 
It's not funny 
I'm just a freak 
On a stage for the world to see 
All my torment and agony 
Just a broken commodity 
That's all that I'll ever be 
So they cackle and smile wide 
As I beg thoughts of suicide 
Never stopping their haunting cries 
God just kill me 
Please let me die 
So unloved by everyone 
I can't take this 
I need to break free of all the pain 
The torment and the ridicule 
I can't shake this 
I need to stand up and walk away 
Ain't never gonna be your fool 
You're not fucking with a freak 
I'm not a freak

------------- 
13.05.03. The $kineater
------------- 
Everything's trying to kill me 
I can't sleep 
These dreams are killing me awake 
Constantly 
It blurs on bleeding through the days 
Violently 
The fear, the painful burning strain 
Menacing 
This horror courses through my veins 
So insane's how this always plays 
Everything it takes, it fucking throws away 
All it wants is to feed on my dismay 
I am the monster inside that I create 
I'm the devil you dont know 
Take off the mask and reveal my face 
Eyes gouged, lips sewn 
Tongue severed at the base 
Killing my senses 
They only dragged me down 
It's all that I can do to drown the laughter out 
He lives inside my thoughts 
Infects me in my sleep 
I cannot dream because he's all I can ever see 
Broken mirror face and toothy crooked smile 
I hear his haunting laugh 
So fucking vile 
He loves the violence he inflicts on me 
He's raping my psyche 
Force feeding my insanity 
My inhumanity 
I once had a friend who lived in the dark 
His arms six feet long and his teeth, oh so sharp 
Nailed me to the wall as he ripped out my heart 
Hysterically laughing as he tore me apart

------------- 
13.05.04. Contorted
------------- 
Distorting self image to an unrecognizable mess 
Contorting beyond my every limits 
Still failing your tests 
The judging glares from your eyes 
They burn through my flesh 
No time to spare 
With the world's weight upon my chest 
I can't be you 
I never want to 
Decisions to strip me of the freedom to be who I please 
Excisions to cure me of my heart and the love that I bleed 
"Conform to us. If not, you're forever diseased" 
But I'd rather die than live this life on my knees 
Don't give in 
Don't betray everything that you've made 
Just be yourself 
In the end, you'll seize the day 
I don't give a shit what you say 
Don't give a fuck what you think 
As long as I'm still alive 
I'll die for my beliefs

------------- 
13.05.05. Sad Clown
------------- 
I'll wait till everybody leaves to breathe 
So they won't hear the sound 
Place the tired smile I wear upon the shelf 
I've lost touch with my old self 
I'm stuck here in my private hell 
There's so much stress 
It's hard to tell just where it all begins 
I'll stay, pretending I don't hate this place 
Forgetting who I am 
Hold the tears back as I cut the grin back onto my face 
It's cold in here, inside my head 
Cant tell if I'm alive or dead 
Just numb I guess I feel instead 
Please wake me when it ends 
You say I try too hard to keep it all inside 
There's not a time I don't feel pain from every side 
It's nothing; that's all my world can be 
We're different, so forget everything 
So empty, these haunting memories 
They just go on and on and on 
Over and over and over again 
My darkest demons are my closest friends 
And I'm sorry 
I'm so sorry

------------- 
13.05.06. $yndrome 
------------- 
Break the halo above you that rules you 
Feel the sin flowing through you 
The true you 
Liars, cheaters passing off as leaders 
Leaving countless bleeders as their lies dig us deeper 
We're believers ruled under deceivers playing finders keepers 
We're the losers and weepers 
We lost our dreams to our foolish beliefs 
Injections so relaxing 
Relapsing 
Hollow breaths as I'm gasping 
Collapsing 
Life ignored 
Existence is a chore 
A sickness so abhorred 
The syndrome of life at death's door 
Deranged 
All pleasures killed by pain 
It's driving you insane 
The syndrome of life lived in vain 
You can't break the deceit that lives in me 
You all breed the disease that's killing me 
Wallow in faults of mine 
Swallow 
It's so sublime

------------- 
13.05.07. Disgust
------------- 
Hate 
Cycle of psychology 
Much like a lobotomy 
Digging into my brain again 
Pain 
Carved in my anatomy 
Pain is not my enemy 
Bring it back into frame again 
Force fed pills to kill thrills and keep me chill 
In a room locked up against my will 
Stressed cuz it's all a mess 
From all the pain and the bloodstains 
Strewn all across my chest 
I wanna see you bleeding 
I wanna leave you seething 
I wanna beat you senseless 
I wanna keep you breathless 
Watch it all go slowly down the drain 
Life has now been all but left estranged 
Death is all that will not ever change 
Endure

------------- 
13.05.08. [un]Happy
------------- 
Fall into place 
The pieces of this world you stole 
Made of the lies you spun and weaved like threads of gold 
Eyes swell up when I look at myself 
Half dead and bleeding on the inside out 
Once, we were both alive 
And we were safe from the darkness that dwells within your soul 
One more word and I will scream it back 
Leave you with blind eyes and deaf ears 
So let's pretend this is the end and not the beginning 
And I can see its going under 
And all we had is torn asunder 
Go on, look back 
I gave you all I had to give 
And still I stay 
Lying here in the bed you made 
Blind to this game 
Pretend it doesnt hurt to play 
Eyes bleed red when I see you approach 
Rotting and decaying from the inside out 
Thats when you didn't care 
That I became the darkness that dwells within your soul 
Take a breath and I will leave you breathless in the blink of an eye 
So just believe that you are free when you are my mine 
It creeps through the silence 
It fuels thirst for violence 
You once said you loved me 
"I can't believe you brought me here" 
I never should have brought you here 
And everything is dead and rusted 
And I should not have ever trusted my frail heart with you

------------- 
13.05.09. Involuntary
------------- 
The subtle ticks and growing whispers 
Lead me to think it goes much deeper 
The sudden glares are growing stronger 
I wish I knew just what I did so wrong to end up here 
There's nothing here to see 
It's only me 
I thought that I was loved 
But now I know that I was wrong 
In the grander scheme of things 
Turns out I never did belong 
Now what do I deserve? 
These social cliques are made of plastic 
Give up your soul to those who wish they were fantastic 
Find me at the bottom of the toy chest 
Broke down and beaten like all the rest 
Confessed to the sins of an open mind 
I'll burn for all of my crimes 
An individual marked by desire to fit your world 
Too bad your white flag is unfurled 
Give it up, all your own ideas 
And just think like me as you drown in your tears 
Never dissent unto me 
Never be no one but me 
Now please tell me 
Please tell me what do I deserve? 
Bitch

 ------------- 
13.05.10. The $titch
------------- 
I haven't felt the same 
Not since I took your blame 
Expecting something I'd be ready to die for 
Bitch, you're nothing to me 
I'm fucking everything 
I'll be the god you see in mirrors 
Give you something to cry for 
I never cared for fame 
Just born to play the game 
Intoxicated by a taste for madness 
And I'm gonna break it slow 
Dying to lose control 
I'll make you wish that you could fucking have this 
Can't take the darkness without the light 
Spread wings like angels with devilish eyes 
Cry, but it will never satisfy inside 
Come on 
It'll never satisfy 
Come on 
Set another, get in line 
You don't make me 
Never satisfied.

------------- 
13.05.11. Scars
------------- 
The past keeps coming back to haunt me once again 
Friends become enemies and my enemies now friends 
The days keep dragging on 
Same body, different face 
I think about the hurt you caused that got me to this place 
Take a good hard look inside and turn the pages of my mind 
Looking back on all the scars you left behind 
I slowly carve a path of bloody nerves apart 
The subtle joys of pain giving life to broken hearts 
Returning to a hell I've quickly come to love 
Knowing things are different but I still can't let you go 
I will never say it 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 
Blood and bones are all I find 
Sifting through the sands of time 
Looking back on all the tears I made you cry

------------- 
13.05.12. It All Fall$ Apart
------------- 
Come on and see what you all you need 
To know the answers that you've missed 
Once you believe, then you're deceived 
To think there's much else after this 
I know it all 
I'm standing tall 
I have the secrets to all that you want 
Hate me if you think you want gore 
Love me when you think you want more 
Forget everything from before the light in the sky 
Suck up all the spit and the pain 
Swallow all your hidden disdain 
Worship everything that became the light in the sky 
It all falls apart 
Behold the sight of everything 
You never knew you needed most 
Gets hard to breathe, but soon you'll see 
Your parasite still needs a host 
We'll kill them all 
We'll watch them fall 
They'll know to never doubt the truth we've made 
I'd never known that life could turn out this way 
Please tell me now, 
When will be my final day? 
It all falls up

------------- 
13.05.13. Dollface
------------- 
She's glistening with sweat on her face 
She's lost within this cold dark place 
I asked her how the hell she got here 
She doesn't speak, but I can smell her fear 
A walk alone got long overnight 
Been here before but it's still not alright 
I ask and say what's your poison today? 
Can't barely breathe when I see that look on his face 
I touch her lips and she tries not to spit 
Got awful sick, up to her shoulders in shit 
She plays the game, though I can tell she's displaced the fear of pain 
With the belief that she's not insane 
So I come on with a spark of my own 
And he responds like his mind isn't blown 
To lose him now would be a nightmare at best 
I feel the warmth and my heart falls out of my chest 
Mommy's little angel's pretty little bow 
Taken from her nest, it's not her time to go 
Pretty little victim, seems she's had enough 
Who'd have known her very first time would be so rough? 
She's mine goddammit 
She's lost inside of herself 
Pretending she's somebody else 
And I won't say that it's not right 
I've taken this from her tonight 
Come get it 
I'm lost inside of her self 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.06 : Black Ghøst (2022) 
~Lullabies før the Suicidal~
------------- 
13.06.01. Black Ghøst
------------- 
The wind comes creeping forward 
Dust comes rolling in 
The souls that haunt this place are spiraling within 
The feast has yet to come but hunger draws you in 
It's time, check out of life 
The fun is about to begin 
The dusty windows boarded up, 
Doors creaking loose 
Your hairs stand up on end like someone's watching you 
This house is empty 
But there's something you can feel so very close to you 
Give in to your terrors made real 
Get inside 
Give up the ghost 
Get out 
You like it, you love it 
Cant get enough of it 
Psychotic, impulsive 
A mind so explosive 
You feel it; you crave it 
The loss of your spirit 
Give up what you are and become the Black Ghost 
I've seen faces in walls and felt hands touch my skin 
I've heard screams of the damned, 
Still paying for their sins 
The morbid taste for pain 
The cries for sanity 
This life has reached it's end 
Become one with your tragedy 
Don't look behind you

------------- 
13.06.02. Viktym Kvlt
------------- 
You want all views to coincide 
With all who claim to see your light 
Abused for standing for our rights 
Sank teeth into our dreams at night 
You don't suspect we see your face 
through seams upon the mask you've made 
You'd love to see us all replaced 
With those who share in your disgrace 
No more remorse 
Your hand is forced 
No more discourse 
Reality's divorced 
Power corrupts the mind 
Narcissistic pride 
I will watch you die for your victim cult 
Keep bearing your cross 
Too fragile to hold you up 
Ignorance is the only result 
No more 
Your game was rigged right from the start 
You grip so tight upon our hearts 
Your words command the counterpart 
Despised, yet still won't fall apart 
No fear, no pain 
You'll never be the same 
Fucking little witch I'll burn you down 
Just like the little bitch I know you are

------------- 
13.06.03. Cømm(øddity)
------------- 
Leading me to my place of being 
Laid right in between shit you're feeding to me 
Leaving me when you're fearing me 
Ain't you feeling me? 
Tell me what's wrong with me 
I can see that you're trying to be what you just can't be 
It's pathetic to see 
Bleeding me with your lethargy 
Fuck, it's killing me 
Who do you want to be? 
Raise your fists and bring the hurt 
Come up and get your devil's worth 
So step aside bitch 
It's our turn to rock this place and watch it burn 
Get up kids, it's time for war 
Shake off your ticks and all your sores 
Cuz this here's what you're looking for 
Commodities we have in store 
Hate on me 
Don't believe in me 
Everything is bleak 
Tell me are you happy? 
They all think I just want to bleed 
Don't you fucking speak 
You are what's wrong with me 
I'm an oddity 
Commodity

------------- 
13.06.04. Vassals
------------- 
Confessions and lies unfold the rot inside 
Masquerade the words you live by 
Suppression is nigh 
Controlling thoughts in mind 
Your transgressive, heinous thought crimes 
And all my life I failed to find the things that separate right and wrong in my 
mind 
And all I feel is not what's real 
The things that terrorize me that I can't conceal 
Tortured minds and opened eyes 
Seeing through your disguise 
Peek behind your curtain of lies 
See what you can find 
Persist to find the purpose of your lies 
Saving face by wasting your time 
Distress disguised 
A mask you hide behind 
Product of the filth in your mind 
We are vassals to a dying breed 
We are vessels carrying the disease 
We are purists still dying to be clean 
We are failures that refuse to concede 
And all my life I failed to find that all I feel is not what's real

------------- 
13.06.05. Døn't Gø Intø the Førest
------------- 
Don't go into the forest 
They all lurk in the forest 
Come little child 
Won't you step inside and realize all the torment that you hide? 
Just you and me, no one else is here 
Oh who am I? 
Just the bugs inside your ears 
Come little child 
Won't you step inside and reconcile all the pain behind your eyes? 
Inside your head and they're drawing near 
But what are they? 
Just the monsters of your fears 
I can't take much more of me 
All I can feel is painful memories 
See all the ways you keep on hurting me? 
Only my demons keep me company 
I feel alone 
I want to die 
Don't be shy, don't turn away 
I know a place where we can get away 
Come see the light between the trees in grey 
Where all your fears and woes will never stay

------------- 
13.06.06. Løve is Dead (and Sø Am I)
------------- 
Beneath the surface of tears and the lies 
There's pain in your eyes 
You didn't mean what you said 
Just take me back to a simpler time 
That spark in your eyes burned out and what's left is dead 
Numb to the cold and the sting of your words 
I've been here before, nothing new that I've heard 
This pain will not end till your scars are earned 
Love is dead and so am I 
Discarded, loathsome lullabies 
I cry these tears tonight 
The falling out now seems so trivialized 
Discomfort disguised 
It never lets the wounds heal 
I built these walls up to keep you inside 
Guess I'm not surprised that all the cracks were revealed 
Let your emotions control every nerve 
Keep playing with fire till bridges are burned 
This pain never ends 
So what have we learned? 
Lay down your arms and wait as the walls you've built give way 
Please stay calm, it's fate 
This will be our last embrace 
Be my last embrace

------------- 
13.06.07. Dead Animals
------------- 
Come on 
I've been awake for days, 
Waiting for this pain to end 
I'll never show my face till I can see it in your eyes again 
My broken promises buried underneath your lies 
I never recognized that I was now what I truly despised 
You never wanted me 
You'll never say what you mean 
You'll never wake up and say I'm sorry now 
You picked me up and sent me home 
I begged to stay but you said no 
I couldn't dig this hole any deeper if I tried 
And now we'll rot like dead animals inside 
I'm feeling so ashamed, 
Wishing that we never met 
It's hard to take the blame with this guilt I wear around my neck 
My scarlet desire encased in the fire 
Becoming the ashes of a memory 
You won't see through my eyes 
For what it's worth, you really know how to cut me down when I'm already low

------------- 
13.06.08. Dark Cløud
------------- 
Everyday is the same 
I wake up and complain to the birds in the skies and I wonder why I can't be 
free like them 
Every night is a dream 
I wake up and scream in the middle of the night and I can't fight the fear 
I need your light 
I don't know why it seems to me I can't survive at night unless I bleed 
I don't know why I had to be so lost in all my broken dreams 
This time I feel it coming down 
It comes and goes in waves crashing over me 
This time I think I'm falling down 
This dark and cloudy haze taking over me 
Get it? No I don't get it 
Every moment's the same 
Live in despair of the shame that I've lost everything I have ever gained and I'm 
the one to blame 
Everything's an ordeal 
It's all so unreal 
Like I'm just dying to feel something that was never real, and I cannot deal cuz 
It never heals 
I don't know why I have to be so full of pain and fear and misery 
I don't know why they have to be so set to take the best of me 
You have to let it go 
You'll never let it go 
Why won't you let it go? 
Don't wait until you know 
Too late to let it go 
Let go

------------- 
13.06.09. Mangled
------------- 
This broken glass that I peer through 
Shows me all the angles and lines of you 
Another time, another place 
But I have yet to find another way 
So life's temporary 
This cemetery is where you will be when you're dead and buried  
The sight of your mangled face is so beautiful to me 
These shallow rays of gold and blue 
Shakes away the substance of my abuse 
But I have yet to find my way 
"You can't save me now" 
Not what you said to me 
Never what you said to me 
I don't walk beside you 
I'm here to guide you to somewhere you know they will never find you 
The lines of your mangled face are such a sight to see

------------- 
13.06.10. Sensøry Blackøut
------------- 
I'm running on fumes 
I'm choking on air 
I'm fucking insane and it's making me scared 
I'm losing myself to the bane of my mind 
But as always I'll just say that I'm fine 
Just take it away 
Take it away 
Take it away from me 
I cannot breathe 
Everything and everyone's so cynical 
I've never felt so goddamn miserable 
Just kill me now 
Just let me take this gun and blow my motherfucking brains out 
I hate everything I am 
I've lost count how many times I've said it 
God tell me what's your plan 
If you're gonna take me out just get it over with 
Waiting in the dark for the light to shine 
Smoothing it out with the edge of a knife 
Or two or three or nine 
I sold my soul so long ago 
Just so the devil would follow 
Just get it over with 
I'd kill just to feel your blood all over me 
I'd burn just to drag you down to hell with me 
Cut my eyes out so I won't see your face again 
Give me the blade 
I'll roll your fucking head 
Blackout 
Overflown overload 
Overblown episode

------------- 
13.06.11. Plastic Lullabies
------------- 
Plastic lullabies 
Something soft to get you by 
It never really heals the wounds 
Just puts us all in deeper tombs 
And now I'm alone 
I'm done pretending I even exist, 
For all the moments and the memories I missed 
I've been following all your steps 
I've memorized all your words 
Even the ones that you had left unheard 
And I'm done being the bashful child I used to be 
You said that I should forgive 
You always said that I would soon forget 
And I still remember every word 
And I still hold every last regret 
And I will forget this place 
Pretend that I was never here 
Leave regret behind and let go of my fear 
You filled my life with your plastic lullabies 
Did you know that I still cry at night? 
This world was once so beautiful 
And now you're gone

------------- 
13.06.12. Hørrid
------------- 
I need the pills to tell me how to feel 
To know the difference between what's fake and what is real 
To know just who and how and what and why that I'm supposed to be 
cuz it's not me 
No, it's not me 
I'm gonna hurt myself or I'll hurt somebody else 
Won't you just kill me please 
I swear to god I'll take this gun 
Put the barrel to my head 
Close my eyes and count to ten 
Pull the trigger 
Let it blow my brains out on the motherfucking floor 
And here I thought that the depression would die out with all the hormones 
when I grew up, graduated found my place in life 
I tried to learn, I tried to live 
I tried to love, it's gone to shit 
I'm hating this; it's torturous that life's so fucking worthless 
Guess I should've known better than to trust our parents, teachers, therapists 
and high authorities that wrote my fucking future for me 
Leave me in my darkness 
Let me bask in sorrow 
I'm a person with my own voice 
My own soul and my own choice to do fuck all if I want to 
And the hell to all who want to tie me down, 
Clip my wings and make me contort and fit into that claustrophobic box they 
called my home 
This is not a home 
This is a travesty 
This is my tragedy 
My god just fucking look at me 
I've been waiting for a way out of the bed I made 
I can't escape every regret from yesterday 
Where have I gone? 
I've been gone this whole damn time 
I don't matter, I never tried 
I want to die with everything I hold in deepest inside of me 
I'm not me

------------- 
13.06.13. Lavender
------------- 
[Instrumental] 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.07 : s e VII e n (2023) 
[ The Search For Love ]
------------- 
13.07.01. Invisible
------------- 
Don't ask me how I feel 
I'd say I'm doing fine 
But secretly I'm slowly rotting inside 
Nobody knows I'm here 
Curled up in all this fear 
And yet it's all I've ever known in my life 
I feel so alone 
I forget that there's nothing left to remind me 
Try my best, it remains untouched 
Unattainable; delusional 
I'm invisible 
Give back the things I feel 
Take from what makes me real 
When I'm not even sure if I'm real indeed 
These words cannot explain 
The source of all my pain 
To truly feel alive is all that I need 
Please tell me if you see me now 
I don't want to be alone 
I just want my pain to be known

------------- 
13.07.02. The Circle 
------------- 
I sit within the circle, where all things stay the same 
It's never felt so simple to stop from playing the game 
There's nothing here to be afraid of 
There's nothing left to feel ashamed of 
Severed ties 
That look in your eyes sank ships and moved mountains to claim what was 
mine 
Give it time 
That spark in your eyes will burn every bridge just to prove that you lied 
It's testing you and pushing me 
It's not enough to set you free 
When all is lost but agony 
You'll be made clean 
I have given my life to the circle 
Break me down and reopen my wounds 
I will drown in this unending cycle 
Dress me in the pain that haunts this room 
Giving my life to the circle 
Face this void in my heart 
Encased in this tomb 
I sit within the circle 
Chained like your bitter slave 
Cast in the dirt you've found me, 
And I'm the one to blame 
When all is lost in misery 
You'll be complete 
You never should've saved my life 
Just let me die

------------- 
13.07.03. Without You
------------- 
Do you ever dream like you could disappear? 
Be free from the bonds of these chains and be gone from here 
Neither here, nor there 
Don't know anywhere that you are 
Fears I placed my wishes upon like a falling star 
I know I belong filling this role for you 
And I know I cannot survive without you 
We'll spiral together 
We're falling forever 
Into an abyss that I know I cannot save you from 
I am not the only one here 
It's utterly stunning 
How we keep on running back into the darkness 
Until we never see the sun 
I am not the only one; 
You 
I'm restlessly counting the days till it ends 
Reminded of hurt from the wounds that I've failed to mend 
Neither there, nor here 
Not anywhere near where you are 
Relinquished the fate that I sealed with another scar 
I may only belong in this hole too 
But I know I cannot survive without you 
It's all you 
I'm done fulfilling this role given by you 
But you'll never let me survive without you 
Cheers to all the lies we've spun

------------- 
13.07.04. Geraldine
------------- 
I don't think that I'll break out anytime soon 
I've been locked up forever in this room 
Chained by fate 
No one can save me now 
And I'm nowhere to be found 
I will never forget 
The moment that you walked in through that doorway 
Lights beamed through from your hair 
Down to the bottom of your duress 
And I knew all that you'd do would change my point of view 
Paths combine 
Fates collide 
Love inside 
Lost to find in the search for love 
In the search for hope 
In the search for death 
Lie awake as the light hits my face 
And I'm warmed within its rays 
Let it be known that from this day 
I will not wait for my life to subside 
I will not let my time run out from waiting for me to make my mind 
And I can't stand to see what I would soon become if I turned to walked away 
Because I blame myself for the misery of where I am today 
It hurts to say, 
I fought so hard to keep my innocence alive 
I never thought that we would fall 
And I'd watch the whole damn world collide 
But it's all the same 
Everything has changed 
I still ask why 
Like the rhythms of despair were never there 
Caught me by surprise with your glowing eyes 
I dig my feet into the sand 
I watch it slip right through my hands 
Hold my hand, because I need you now 
I didn't want to believe 
But I can't escape the truth 
Cuz the rhythms of despair, 
They were never there

------------- 
13.07.05. Strangers
------------- 
Well hey stranger 
What's your danger? 
Waiting long to get things done 
Well hey stranger 
Let's arrange a way we can have some fun 
My imposer will get closer 
Tell me, why's your face so long? 
I can't take her 
I won't make her 
Look inside at what's now gone 
Well hey stranger 
What's the danger? 
Never thought how we should meet 
Well hey stranger 
It's no pleasure 
Never mind it tastes so sweet 
My intruder will get ruder 
You could live if you were strong 
I could take her 
I could break her 
Look and see what's wrong 
She's taking my hand, or trying to at least 
Could I now break the sin inside me? 
Are these strangers the real danger? 
Locked me up and sealed me down 
They breathe like us 
They bleed like us 
Fed the hate to steal the crown 
My invader breaks me down 
Give it up

------------- 
13.07.06. Killing Fear
------------- 
Pick apart the chance you take 
And in this spot is where you'll stay in 
I got nothing left to say 
I won't shut the fuck up anyway 
Your situation's got your feet buried in the sand again 
I'm killing fear 
A whole new world outside 
Make your way 
See a sun that shines 
Let's make it out alive 
Break on through to the other side 
Running from a world that's vast 
While standing still, tied to your past 
And I've got nothing left to say 
I won't shut the fuck up anyway 
Just put your money where your mouth is and go be free again 
And now I think I know what you're trying to say 
I'll never be free shackled in these chains 
But these always kept me from throwing my life away 
All my own 
But there's a whole new world that I'm dying to see 
And I can't survive if it's only me 
So please take my hand 
Lead me back to our destiny 
Hating everything that elates me 
Debating everything that berates me 
Over and over again 
Fuck 
When you look outside 
What do you see? 
Will you survive? 
You'll never know until you go

------------- 
13.07.07. s e VII e n
------------- 
[Instrumental]

------------- 
13.07.08. The Outbreak
------------- 
Amazed 
Unfazed 
Running out of time and looking out of place 
Your skeptic demeanor intends to bridge the gap between a realist and reality 
I thought I knew what I was getting myself into 
Yet you took my hand to take across the sand 
Without a second thought of me or you 
The thrill is real and yet I can't deal 
With the blistering heat of the sun, 
Causing my flesh to crack, rip and peel 
Away with the layers of confidence 
I've dressed myself within 
And giving way to to a vortex of doubt I've sorely missed 
Thoughts without emotion 
Move about the ocean 
Gone in the commotion 
Losing all their motion 
One beat too small 
It's like you were never really there at all 
As if my cries were for attention and not suspension of belief that I dropped the 
ball 
"Ok yeah, 
I admit my schemes and plans fall apart when I don't commit, 
But if you were in my shoes, 
You'd run away too 
There's nothing that I could really do." 
I am the voice you've heard inside 
I am the fears from which you hide 
A neverending source of tension in your mind 
One pill to forgetting what we have done 
Four shots to remind it of everyone 
You won't kill me 
You won't change me 
Three cheers to mistakes that we made in fun 
I'm bound for hell and know I'm not the only one 
Nothing can ease your fear

------------- 
13.07.09. Overexposed
------------- 
A glance out the door 
And I've seen a whole new world full of such surprises in store 
And a look at the floor 
And I saw my ankles deep in the shackles binding me 
In my home I adore 
A prison of sand and dust and self reliance 
And I can't take it no more 
I've chosen to act to live out my defiance 
I feel these days 
These weeks, these months  
These years kept long in stagnation 
Please let me out 
I'm overexposed 
Don't want to be out here on my own 
I'm cold and alone 
So very far away from my home 
A darkness I breed 
Like casting a shadow onto a shattered window 
But the life that I need is right here within my grasp 
I won't let go now 
Come lift the veil upon this sordid world that's broken and failing 
Please wake me up 
Nothing can ease your fear 

------------- 
13.07.10. Ivory Tower
------------- 
This world 
It takes its toll 
It's lost in the unknown 
All the loss and pain and relief unseen 
Like the things you think that you see in me 
But if I could change the way the story ends, 
I'd make you wait till then 
You drew your line into the sand 
Then you sighed and you reached out 
And asked to take my hand 
But I was too concerned by the things I had learned 
All the water we left under bridges we burned 
So I just... 
I shut it all away 
So here the story ends 
I'm lost, alone again 
You said that I could change 
All alone in my final hour 
But I am still the same 
Sitting perched in my ivory tower 
You won't speak my name 
Give me strength to reach the top 
To see the light of day 
And now I cannot make amends 
So I guess here's how the story ends 
Please come back, cuz now I believe 
So here our story ends 
I'm lost without my friend

------------- 
13.07.11. Red Eyed Stare
------------- 
Burning light in my eyes 
Left alone here to die 
I can say that I tried 
But it just wasn't right 
It tested me 
Pushed you away 
I could not be set free this way 
Now all is lost 
And misery is all I see 
From all angles, I've cried 
Still hurt from all their lies 
No trust left to confide 
I'll just wait here to die 
He's come for me 
Took me back home 
I'm destined to be all alone 
Now that I've lost, 
The agony is mine to be

------------- 
13.07.12. Deceptiøn
------------- 
This darkness sets my mind off into a blinded rage 
I know I won't let you go 
I'll set myself ablaze 
I cannot take the beatings 
I'm deaf from all your lies 
Oh god I think I'm bleeding 
With this, I'll end your life 
You knew I would never be what you wanted of me 
I'll set my heart on fire because I'm through with you 
Can't you see that you kill me with everything you do? 
Corruption 
It stains the souls that you have betrayed 
What should I have done to erase all this pain? 
I kept myself on the inside 
To give to you and your kind 
Now all your secrets revealed to me 
I've been blind all this time 
It's you who just can't face it 
Some things never change 
Deception and shame at the end of the blame 
You hide in your lies, 
And it's me you despise 
Deception's all you know 
I'll never let you falter 
Won't let you fall to your demise 
I'll take this and make this the best fucking night of our lives

------------- 
13.07.13. Ashes
------------- 
Well hey stranger 
What's your danger? 
Couldn't wait to get this done 
Well hey stranger 
Let's arrange a way that we can have some fun 
My new suitor; my dear intruder 
I can't wait to see your light 
You won't survive her because I love her 
Look and see what's gone so right 
Well hey stranger 
What's our danger? 
I'm so happy we could meet 
Well hey stranger 
It's all my pleasure 
Fuck it tastes so goddamn sweet 
She's my sunlight in your moonlight 
I can live now that I'm strong 
You'll never take her 
Won't let you break her 
Now I see what was wrong 
When she took my hand 
I'd kill for it all again 
And again and again and again 
We break into the endgame finally 
You know nothing ‘bout me 
I know nothing ‘bout you 
It's all good if we change that soon 
Were these strangers the real danger? 
You locked me up 
You sealed me down 
They breathe like me 
They bleed like me 
You fed the hate to steal my crown 
Watch my savior burn you down 
Now you're ashes in the wake of me 
Dust to dust 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.08 : Løst Søuls (2024) 
[ The Search For Høpe ]
------------- 
13.08.01. Twisted
------------- 
Come with me and see your world divide 
To a hidden place the eye can't find 
And I know it's hard to see 
How it's taken hold of me 
When you're so far away 
And you're right in front of me 
We make the same mistakes 
No 
This is the price that must be paid 
With you dying in front of me 
We made the same mistakes 
Yeah 
We've both had the bumpiest of rides 
Fleeing from these nightmares we can't hide 
Come and see this great divide 
Awaken something from inside 
And I know it's not the same 
But the time has come for change 
There's demons within me I must not let out 
They push and they pull and they scream and they shout 
Their words cut so deep just to fill me with doubt 
And I can't drown them out cuz you're so far away 
Cut me up till I'm twisted

------------- 
13.08.02. Løst Søuls
------------- 
You're letting all your ashes turn to dust 
Your kingdom fell and faded all to rust 
And there is not a single soul you trust 
But now's the time that you must come with us 
Here they come 
Lost Souls 
Oh I can still hear you now and then 
Still hear you now and again 
The moments that preceded this have passed 
The light does not protect your shadow's cast 
And you're not just the victim of your past 
So now's the time that you must don the mask

------------- 
13.08.03. Grey
------------- 
The skies untouched by shades of grey 
The clouds unfurl to send the rain 
It's all we knew, but can't complain 
It's not that much 
Enough to hate 
Come one, come all and seal my fate 
I've built this home within my pain 
So bleed me out and rid your blame 
Cuz I'm what's wrong 
You can't relate 
I'm losing everything by gaining anything 
Fed up with everything 
I'm breaking everything 
In spite of everything, I'm hiding everything so well 
Set off by anything 
I'm killing everything, so kill 
And I feel like I am dying 
And I'm still that same boy crying 
And I failed to break this silence 
And I still cannot embrace this part of me 
My broken toys amongst the fray 
Your silver touch the gold decays 
With any luck, I'll find my way to my future's call and die today 
And I feel like I've been dying 
You won't admit your faults made you this way 
Deflect the blame 
I will not care 
It's all we knew among the rain

------------- 
13.08.04. Strychnine Lung
------------- 
Hold your breath until the lights go out 
Choking myself 
Until I die or become something else 
Bury myself 
I'm out of time and my life's gone to hell 
Let my tired eyes rest tonight 
The nightfall comes and I'm scared 
I came to my funeral so unprepared 
My soul is holding on and I still just let it go 
It's creeping on and I still won't ever know 
What's it's like to not fall into the hole 
I missed my chance to breathe life in 
Like breathing fire through a strychnine lung 
My mask is slipping off 
And It's starting to get cold 
Unfreeze my heart and watch it burn

------------- 
13.08.05. Dørmant Søul
------------- 
You're walking right to me 
And you saw right through me 
Not what you thought you'd see 
Oh what a mess I'll be 
I wanna make some time 
For getting in the way 
Ready to make some problems 
Just to get my way 
Not trying to stick around 
I'm trying to get what's mine 
Not trying to live that life 
Beneath the parasites 
Looks like I failed to see 
How you could cut through me 
Can't keep my sanity 
Over the lies you breathe 
Nothing can retain the past 
Hoping for a future that'll never last 
Measuring the pressure 
Cutting through the skin 
Save it for a savior coming from within 
You wrote it down so long ago 
I could not break from my dormant soul 
For what it's worth, 
You really know how to cut me down when I'm already low 
It's time for another attack 
One step forward 
Twelve steps back 
Get the fuck off my back

------------- 
13.08.06. Seeing Is Believing
------------- 
I can taste your sin 
It's itching right beneath my skin 
I'm numb 
Can't feel the wind 
It tears up all that rots within 
Another chance that dies 
It's lived before your very eyes 
It's always been a lie 
But this lie, I will let it thrive 
I can't see you 
But I feel you breathing 
Don't believe you 
And it leaves me seething 
I don't need you 
But you're not worth leaving 
This will end you 
Seeing is believing 
I can't let this go 
I feel it burning in my soul 
I just can't let this roll 
Beware, prepare to lose control 
Another chance we take 
Another lie the truth can't break 
In this life, we're all fake 
But it's the life we chose to make 
Look out 
You're all out of time 
And I've got no more heart left for you to break 
Right now I wish you were me because I'm about to fade 
I'm about to cave 
I'm about to break 
Right now we're falling apart 
Feel like a shot through the heart 
Here's how it's about go down 
I'm burning you to the ground 
Look fast, it's begun 
A tunnel lights the dying sun 
We're through this final one 
By all accounts, I know we've won

------------- 
13.08.07. Emperør : The Return
------------- 
The light shines upon the wasteland 
The sun once risen, now falls again 
As moonlight drains the devastation 
Embracing the sorrow that's scarred this land 
Emperor of this broken land 
Returning as he dies again 
Forsaken lives cannot defend 
This empire of a broken man 
I took her life into my hands

------------- 
13.08.08. Nøcturne
------------- 
False idols 
Prophecies untold 
I'm bitter, cold in winter 
I need a break away from life 
Lost and strayed 
Those hidden liars' truth unfolds 
This world's unending pressure 
I need to look around and find my own light 
Meaning to what's undefined 
My failures in mind 
I felt inside a lost sense of pride 
Go get up 
I want to be your one and only trial 
I want to see a lover's eyes within yours 
Don't give up 
This world is filthy and I cannot take it 
Why can't you see that all I want in life, 
This life, any life 
Only you 
This anger bleeding till I die 
A nocturne screaming louder 
I need to break away from this loneliness 
Distorted promise; only lies 
They left their scars unto me 
Denied to be let free 
No air left to breathe 
Forsaken me all for a dream 
I have awakened from your dream 
You will not remember me 
I'll fade from you

------------- 
13.08.09. Falsify
------------- 
I want to believe in what's unrealistic 
It's only naive to think so simplistic 
Hold on to something 
Hold on to nothing 
Hold on and see what you don't know 
The life of endings 
Hold on to something you can't know 
You falsify 
I want you to know that you'll never have it 
The courage to change the depths of the habit 
Hold on and let the anger go 
The light is fading 
Just let go

------------- 
13.08.10. Demise
------------- 
You're wrapped around my finger so tightly 
I could see my fate burn in the fires of your soul 
But I needed to reconcile my absent mind 
And now it's time to see you take what's mine 
You will not shine 
I will embrace your gift of light 
Take what's mine 
You cannot die caught in the fires of demise 
You feel everything that I touch so perfectly 
I could swear I melted as you pulled me into your flames 
So sever the memory that we left behind 
And the worst is yet to come and I'm afraid 
Any moment left alone instills my shame 
As if no one else can help me break away 
Let them come rip me apart 
I'm not afraid 
Caught in the fires of your eyes

------------- 
13.08.11. Feel Nøthing
------------- 
Well it's all them 
No, it's not me 
I spoke the truth; they disagreed 
I said I'm real, they say I'm wrong 
But I can't hide 
I guess I'm done 
The hangman's noose is all you choose 
No brain in use, your mind is goo 
So much to choose how to abuse 
No one could use a fool as cruel as you 
That's true 
Do you believe in what they say? 
Do you believe in what they say about me? 
Do you believe? 
Well it's all them, it's never me 
Cuz I know how the world should be 
But I'm unloved and I'm unclean 
So face the facts: 
I just deceive and seethe and grieve 
I just can't get over it all 
Not anymore 
Blessed and cursed in this void I can't ignore 
Well it's a gift, a silent grift 
A new facade; the burdens shift 
So guess it's time I start to see 
That all along, I feel nothing

------------- 
13.08.12. Reaper's Abyss
------------- 
Open the maw 
Enraptured in defiance 
Sinful eyes with a bleeding heart 
Annihilating the heavens above 
Revealing the chasm to deep below 
The awakening looms upon us 
Reigniting all belief in fate 
No god to save, 
I call upon thy legion of hate 
Cast into the abyss 
You won't be missed 
Exiling the wicked 
Defiling the damned 
Was there no life to cherish before you came and scorched this land? 
I see the tides approaching 
Soon I'll be swept away 
My sorrow culminating in reaping what I've sown this day 
Disdain 
They've taken them all away 
Devouring in masses 
The killer waves of the dead 
Their rotting claws extend from the mist to pull you in by the hand 
The elysium defiled 
Seared the flesh of man and child 
Spread these ashes made among those hopeless souls now left begone 
Now we sink to the dead

------------- 
13.08.13. Death Is a Shadøw
------------- 
Within 
Without 
We circle all about 
The fear 
The fall 
We've sacrificed it all 
The flame 
The name that bears all of the blame 
It's you 
It's true 
Deny what you're accused 
But death is a shadow 
The fool 
The fate 
Consumed by all your hate 
Your spite 
The knife that's cut through all your life 
I stop and stall 
So desperate for your call 
Yet here we sink 
Eyes wide 
Try not to blink 
Deep in the shallow 
You won't admit your fault 
Like I'm the one who made you this disgrace 
Erased this place I could never escape 
My face replaced by your pain, 
My shame and betrayal 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
13.09 : hellscapes (2025) 
[ The Search Før Death ]
------------- 
13.09.01. eyes.stay.shut.
------------- 
Eyes stay shut from Death$trøkes to hellscapes 
Don't let them see what's surrounding you

------------- 
13.09.02. 1nflam3d
------------- 
You don't worry now 
You've lost control 
It seemed like it 
You were on a roll 
Now there's nothing to what you possess 
Just when you believed it was your best 
Get up 
Well the circumstances changed 
It's my life you left astray 
Now my heart is up in flames again with you gone 
There's no freedom here to fight 
There's no wrong if this is right 
And I'm burning trails of flames again tonight till I'm gone 
You're ready to say it's over now 
You want to see hope when you look down 
But there's nothing there that's left to find 
But ruins and faults of your design 
Help me

------------- 
13.09.03. im a fiEND
------------- 
I hope your life is nothing without me 
You don't even think I'd remember you 
Given the worst of all situations, 
I'd loathe to spent another minute with you 
Why? I gotta fight for something 
Why? You think it's yours 
Why? Bitch are you afraid yet? 
Why? Soon you'll be no more 
Why? I'm a fiend 
Like the kind you've never seen 
Don't ask why 
And I'll haunt you in your dreams, 
So don't ask why 
I'd give a fuck if you ever had one 
But nothing's ever good enough for you 
I may have built my own separation 
But never will I fall apart over you 
Why?

------------- 
13.09.04. pierrøt
------------- 
Welcome to the party 
Always down to clown 
Shoving it all up in your faces 
Parade it all around 
I am your agent of chaos for the night 
Believe in what I am 
Or am I? 
Nothing matters right? 
You already know the game 
Let the chips fall where they may 
Give into your sacrifice 
Cuz that's the point of living life 
Spin around 
Pirouette every chance you get 
Pay no attention to the terrors casting silhouettes 
Dance away like a doll 
Live above it all 
Leave your conscience dead at the fucking door 
All things fail; everyone falls 
You don't know a fucking thing at all 
Yeah you think you do, but it's a selfish lie 
So go and suffer on that till the day you die 
Go on 
Yeah, you'll be the star of the show 
You won't make it any better, you know 
Dance, motherfucker, dance 
Clones or clowns 
Sink or drown 
It doesn't matter 
You'll all be shattered 
Dance like the clown you are 
Dance little puppet 
Dance in your torment 
Dance for my amusement

------------- 
13.09.05. Cerberus
------------- 
He came to me just like a dream 
And took away my insecurities 
He's reached for me like he's in need 
Just begging me to set his soul unleashed 
So pure, so kind 
With flames on the inside 
His enemies fallen like dominoes 
A hunter's eyes 
With fangs on the outside 
His mane ignites 
Ready to burn them down 
He calls for me with every scream 
Kept bound in chains held down by gravity 
It's not a dream 
He's here with me but he begs to be set free 
I must set him free 
Lion with three darling faces 
Burning wild mane of flames 
Seek within eternal courage 
Break your chains 
Let none remain

------------- 
13.09.06. 999
------------- 
Am I cursed? 
Do I need it? 
Is there nothing left inside of me? 
Rip it up inside 
Let it go awry 
Now that you are mine, 
Nowhere left to hide 
We are the world 
The one that you took from me 
You are alone 
Alone in the war you wage 
The world you kept in dismay 
For granted you've taken me 
Fucking mistaken if you think you're breaking me 
Am I cursed? No

------------- 
13.09.07. MASKERADE
------------- 
A gauze half conceals the tableau of guests in the opera house 
Each raises their mask to the other 
They recognise each other 
The gauze lifts fully to reveal the staircase of the opera house 
Hand to another and strut 
"Oh what a splendid party! 
Here's to us!" 
Masquerade 
Paper faces on parade 
Hide your face 
The world will never find you 
Every face a different shade 
In this faceless dance parade 
Golden feathers 
Silver bones 
No one here shall dance alone 
Changing places on a whim 
Flick and twirl into another spin 
Take your partner by the hand 
No the party never ends 
Flash of mauve 
Splash of puce 
Fool and king 
Ghoul and goose 
Green and black 
Queen and priest 
Trace of rouge 
Face of beast 
Curl of lip 
Swirl of gown 
Ace of hearts 
Face of clown 
Eye of gold 
Thigh of blue 
True is false 
Who is who? 
Stop and stare at the sea of smiles

------------- 
13.09.08. revenant (søulless øne)
------------- 
Say my name 
Breathe your disease 
I died for you to do as you please 
Feel the same 
Give me release 
I'd kill for you but only if you please 
You want it 
You've got it all 
You'll never see the fall 
You need it 
You've dropped the ball 
You'll never need his call 
I'm the reverent 
I'm the relevant 
I'm the revenant 
I am the soulless one 
I am the solaced 
My hell is raised 
Your end of days

------------- 
13.09.09. 666
------------- 
Locked in full doom 
Caught hid in the back room 
There's no resisting it 
You're so persistent bitch 
End of silence 
Sprinting towards the violence 
Six thousand feet below 
That's where you'll fucking go 
One more word from you 
It'll be your last 
Think I'm joking you? 
Split second flash 
Run 
They're coming for you 
Better watch your back 
They're closing in on you 
Gotta get away fast 
Look both ways 
Before you know you're being attacked 
I will tear your jaw off 
Shut your goddamn fucking mouth 
Oh wait that's right, you can't 
Made fucking sure of that

------------- 
13.09.10. SKULLSKRAPER
------------- 
Taking away my bones, my limbs, my skin, my ears and eyes 
Why 
Taken apart my broken soul and left me here to die 
Cry 
Torturing out my innocence all since I dared to try 
Hide 
Tormented for the tears I cried 
For the cynic is all I've left inside 
Reading between the lines to find the corpse that is my mind 
Before I die, you know what you are 
And I will compress and compound you to waste 
To throw away like trash 
I'm disposing of my hatred's bane 
Fed into the SkullSkraper 
Scraping through the bones 
Crushing cracks in skulls 
Death will take its toll 
Pain like you don't know

------------- 
13.09.11. røll th3 d1ce
------------- 
Taking our lives away 
They come storming the fray 
Hunting us down like prey 
Sick, disgusting, depraved 
Roll the dice 
I am all in sight 
The heartless vilified 
The darkness nullified 
In reckless living I have given in tonight 
My dark lust sanctified 
This calling I declined 
In feckless living I have given up my life 
Hate results of the game 
Cruel intentions at play 
Keep unwanteds at bay 
Seems we've all lost our way

------------- 
13.09.12. Death$trøkes
------------- 
Destructing out of my hands 
The crash and burn 
So typical of my plans 
A failure to learn 
Missed landing from the comedown 
Still unprepared 
Swift seconds off the countdown 
And more than a little scared 
Bring it on bitch 
I'm not afraid to die 
Running out of time at breakneck speeds 
Swinging at me cuz I choke in the streets 
Take away a part of my anxiety 
Just for a second 
People kill 
People die 
It's a fact of life 
Get over it 
People scream and cry 
"I'll just let hope die 
And get it over with!" 
Always the last to let shit go 
And the first to take that extra step too far 
Get on your knees and row 
Row to the death$trøkes 
Run along with that anomaly 
Slinking past me as I'm keeping the peace 
Take away a part of my insanity 
Just for a second

------------- 
13.09.13. hellscapes
------------- 
Why is it empty inside? 
Did they go and do something to your mind? 
Like every time 
Undismembered 
Why must they do what they like? 
Do they know they've become so unrefined? 
I keep doubting my life 
I remember 
All the lies we hated 
All the times we've faded 
Never separated all this time 
All our scars were fated 
All the harms debated 
Memories created saved our lives 
Why am I evil inside? 
Did they go and do something to my mind? 
And it's taking its time slowly rotting 
I've become self victimized 
All because I believed my little lies 
May the shame I denied stay forgotten 
All the times when you and I had left the pain alone 
All of the times when you and I had failed to find our way back home 
Now savor, I'm still beside you now 
Treasure as we both dive into the light together 
Suffered, yet we will no more 
Head first into the big and bright unknown forevermore 
I'm severed now 
Into our only hope 
Together now 
We'll die and be reborn